When "Nothing" Is the Answer
On nervous system overload, found clarity, and the insight that landed when I stopped trying to look for it
My nervous system was maxed out.
When my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day this year, my initial thought was “nothing.” Then I realized, that was truly the answer. I didn’t want anything… I wanted nothing.
I wanted peace, quiet, steadiness. A place where I could actually recharge and not feel so damn janky.
So, I booked myself into a nearby Nordic spa for the day. Nothing fancy, but it was perfect.
It was one of those perfect spring days where the sky was impossibly blue and the birds were twitterpated.
I got there early enough to beat the crowd, and for a stretch of time, the place felt wide open. There was room to breathe. I found a spot I loved tucked behind the main area, overlooking the lake. The trees were just beginning to leaf out, like they were remembering how to live again.
It was peaceful in a way that made allowed body to not just let go… but to deeply relax.
I wasn’t looking for any deep insights while I was there. I wasn’t trying to work anything in particular out. I was just allowing myself to be present while moving through the circuits—hot, cold, rest, reset—and letting myself soften into them as I went.
And then, without warning, something landed deep within me.
It wasn’t a new idea. It wasn’t even a thought. In fact, it was something I’d talked about before, but it had never settled in quite like this. It was a full-body moment. A deep, cellular knowing that came in softly and fully. No rush to do anything with it. No pressure. Just wisdom and truth.
And, surprisingly, I didn’t do anything with it. I let it sit. Which, as an Emotional Manifesting Generator is unheard of!
I knew that the Sun was in Gate 23 (Assimilation) and the Earth was in Gate 43 (Insight) at that time. Together, they form a defined channel that offers the ability to speak deep insight at just the right time.
I don’t have the channel (or either of the gates) in my natal design, but I felt it. The entire channel lit up inside of me this past week.
I have a completely open Ajna (no gates defined at all), so I’m always soaking up ideas, patterns, possibilities. It’s been hard for me to own this, but I’m not here to produce brilliance on demand… I am here to recognize it and shape it, though. It’s the epitome of what we think of when we say open-minded.
That day at the spa, the energy of the Channel of Structuring helped me pull things together I didn’t even know had been floating around inside of me. The ideas weren’t purely mine, but the insight and the way I pulled them together was.
I didn’t try to make sense of it right away. I didn’t capture it in a voice note or turn it into a post. I just let it work through me. Quietly in the background.
Later in the week, I dropped into a conversation with one of my biz besties, Mel McSherry. Mel is an ah-may-zing Projector who has this uncanny way of unlocking things in me (and others). I didn’t get into the details of what came through. I didn’t have to. The openness was still there, and in Mel’s presence, it expanded.
Super cool thing is that Mel also bridges one of my splits, which means their energy quite literally helps complete me. It’s one of the few times when my Manifestor side and my Generator side talk freely amongst themselves. When left to my own devices, they don’t (thank you, small split!).
This is the beauty of working with tools like Human Design. We get to decode how we process things and how the energy around us creates pockets for us to experiment in.
I didn’t need a breakthrough this week. I needed space.
And a little support.
And I received both.
What a gift.
We talk a lot about clarity like it’s something we have to chase down.
But sometimes, it shows up when we stop trying to wrestle it to the ground.
The body knows when it’s safe to let things land.
Your design knows how to hold what’s real for you.
And sometimes, the best thing you can do is stop pushing and give yourself the space to not figure it out right away.
So if you’re carrying a lot right now… mentally, emotionally, energetically… maybe don’t look for a breakthrough.
Maybe just ask yourself...
What’s already trying to settle in me? And do I have enough space to let it?
Let that be enough for now.